I did some research and none of the maths stuff (which was very interesting since I like numbers) or the two movies seemed to have any relevance. Maybe I received a stupid transmission from VOG operators, or I may see more information in the coming days.
*shrug*
Oh, and bon jour.
(I love Thor's Day and Frigg's Day, two back-to-back energy gathering days for me.)
Hey, my heart just did a weird couple of thunderous beats. Never felt that before.😳🤔
Such great talent and intricate compositions. I enjoyed watching listening (and of course I had to search for the lyrics as *at least* a foothold even if they aren't totally accurate).
I apologize for not replying to some of your other comments. Sometimes, I have to step away and take to heart what you write.
I keep forgetting about the manic depression and pain. I started noticing the cycles a few weeks ago, but I tend to look past that because it's painful for me to see/feel it, and then I lose compassion. It's not fair for me to ignore your very real issues. That's when I shield and lash out.
I know. And I am really feeling emotionally raw today. I think it's partially because I'm experiencing period symptoms despite not having had one for nearly a decade. Or the emotions are triggering the physical memories. Either way, I'm looking at the programming and how to heal so I can help others who want to heal, too.
"Why would say, that nurse ask me if I'm a sangoma?"
Are you?
"As SuperSatan, I must ask why you would come to me in darkness, but also you seek for distance? I apologize for having to hide you."
I probably need to sit with that 'cause the message is not obvious to me.
That TI video was hard to watch, but the story is good.
Who is Katherine? (Kate Orson?)
"Why do people think I'm so evil?"
People think you're evil because you ask questions and reveal truths that open their Pandora's boxes full of *their own* evil. You expose their immaturity, magical belief systems, cowardice, denial, and investment. You know, they project their shit onto you. But you're not a screen, you're a man.
I know all about being called evil, weird, crazy, aloof, etc., it's the story of my life. Of course, there are a few people — those who have suffered the same/similar projection BS — who "get" me.
"my mom mentioned a girl named Sharine or Shireen"
In what context?
And we will see about Kate. Sexological bodyworker and [false] Jesus worshiper, sounds like a deep investment in the intentional proliferation of trauma.
"The problem I have is, because instinctively I tend to love, there are things that think they can exploit me. And they "think" I don't notice that."
I get it. I mean, if they think they can exploit or manipulate you, *they* are the ones exploitable and manipulable. Right? I mean, that's part of the programming and now they project it; they're like little movie houses of shit films and they treat others like the screens. But you're a man, not a screen, so.
Well, drinking alcohol is great self-medication (there's my justification, haha). Of course, you wouldn't be able to maintain your WEW as pristinely as you do — thinking and writing clearly and all your other unique activities/qualities — if you were abusing alcohol to the point of near-annihilation every day. I have seen some very exceptional people who do, and they *no way* could accomplish a smidgen of what you do.
JFC. It was really difficult to read SH's lashing out. The denial is soooooo fucking deep. It is truly like fighting dragons who are insanely flailing in the throes of death. I mean, they're powerless, but still, what a rough, icky mess. Is there any hope for "people" like that?
I'm not saying this will happen to you, but I have two very close friends that did not know each other and both of them independently told me that they were "done with love relationships forever." A few months later, they met each other at one of my gigs and fell in love instantly; they have been happily married for nearly 20 years, no kids by choice.
It's interesting to me that some of the metal bands put out albums containing songs that all sound quite similar, while others release albums of music that is highly varied not only between but within the songs themselves. I much prefer the latter (variety is the spice of life), but can appreciate the former.
There are so many talented musicians! And yeah, I can comprehend that Decapitated were influencers. I read about Vitek. Apparently he was 12 when joined the band. My former guitar student Joseph was playing amazing shit at that age, too. I think I told you before that I helped him learn "Ghost of Perdition" by Opeth, he was maybe 13 at the time. He's more into composing and performing other genres now.
Please let me know how things transpire with RP et al. (Is RP *really* a physicist, or does s/he just play one on Substack?)
I literally just sat down with a glass of wine. I mean, other than the time I took to read and reply to your comments today, I've been busting my ass around here.
I got all my pretty flowers potted plus three new herb plants, and all my new and previous little flora friends are watered before bedtime. Also, it was Whole Lotta Lasagna day, so that's like a 4-hour kitchen commitment — during which I listened and danced to "Flight of the Ancients" again. *And* I made a batch of chocolate zucchini black bean breakfast bars after dinner; they're baking now and the house smells delicious.
Ron and Jack made great progress on the stage today, too. There's a floor now, yay.
Some positive distractions from my deep desire to throttle "people."
I read through your discussion with" Amanda." (Actually, I poured a glass of bubbles and read the entire bunch of threads.) The back-and-forth with "Amanda" really looked familiar, in the beginning, to other repartee you've had that I was able to read and even participate in sometimes.
I hope for "Amanda's" sake that "she" was being honest in saying "she" believes you. For "her" — or anyone — to dismiss your personal truth and the truths of which you speak is *not* a wise choice.
That said, I doubt at this point that anything you say would "scare me for life," although it might scar me if I don't have my shield ready (but I pretty much always do).
Also, as I've said before, I began adopting "normie" ways as an infant in order to survive — which I almost didn't many times.
So I guess I hide my lunacy . . . until someone pisses me off. I have "killed" *a lot* of "people," especially the two guys who tried to physically rape me, one at age 15, the other at age 51. And how's *that* for inverted "FM" fuckery?
There was so much abuse by males in my life that, in retrospect, I am still kinda amazed that I am married to Ron. Although it's not like there was no relationship stuff to work through; the first ten years were incredibly difficult, with four major, ugly breakups and a shitload of psychological damage to heal on both our parts.
And there was an insane amount of Lilith programming in my mom. I "cut the apron strings" at 9 years old when I started getting my period and she told me that the *horrific* amount of blood and pain would go away when I have children. So, like, I'm supposed to bear children to stop my own pain? See what I mean, how crazy shit is.
That's a really good song by C.Ray.
I think about you *a lot* every day. Not just when I'm reading/typing/listening to what you share.
RE: "that other girl," not necessary but maybe you could give her a moniker so I know "which witch" or "other girl" you are referring to. And I am genuinely sorry that the emoticons I recently chose triggered you with all that previous trauma. But I get angry, too, and need to express it *somehow.*
I think that A-Man-Duh (likely?) is deeply programmed and that "she" said "I believe you" to pander *as if* disappearing afterwards wouldn't be obvious. The comment about "stop saying stuff or we'll both get sent to the bad kids' corner" or however "she" worded it gave me *distinct pause.*
"Instead of, as some of the british institutional shit would suggest "Carry on", I mention, 'Carrion'." Good one.
"I have been hurt too much and maybe you've noticed, I get angry. Beyond any of their attempted comprehension."
Of course they cannot comprehend such righteous anger: They are numb for dozens of reasons including pharma and mind-control/programming, or they are NPCs, or they are trolls, or they are cushy-job-keeping career clowns. Some are all of that.
"Certainly those girls pictured would be listening to this."
*Naturally.*
"I've mentioned it before, but I have power from even beyond the stars. I don't like having to use it to make a point though."
WEWs (and all Divine beings) must choose their battles wisely, as you tend to do.
Oh, yes. That discussion was quite lively, and you were in prime form, being *very nice,* too, for the most part. I rather enjoyed reading the repartee.
"Awomanye"
I must be goddamn loaded to the gills, because I still don't get that.
On another note altogether, Ron and our friend Jack started building the back yard stage yesterday. We're living in a construction zone, but happily so. It might even be ready for performing musicians next Saturday when we celebrate both of their belated birthdays.
The feeling is mutual. And almost every time I read your online discussions with others that you share with me, I learn another detail about the damage and abuse you have endured. Like, I either forgot or did not know that your initial neurological damage was caused by herbicides/pesticides. That's just horrific and it makes me sooooooo angry. It is no wonder that you quickly became a rebel with a cause at two years old. "Dis-Go Inferno," indeed.
Also, and I've said this before, I am rather envious that you had the bravado to permanently ditch school at the age of 15. I really ought to have.
The morning after the rape, I mistakenly told a girl who I thought was a very close friend. Turned out she was a Lilith clone or at least MK-ULTRA'd with Lilith and Beta-kitten programming. And like wildfire, my entire high school — students *and* teachers — learned a *very twisted version* of the truth. On Monday morning in the hallway by my locker, after the weekend incident had been perpetrated *in my home,* I was branded a slut and whore. Which is exactly what the "friend" actually was. Hmmmm. Inversion and projection much?
And that was that: I was forever their target. I mean, the rapist went to school in a neighboring town, but his GF was in my school. She and a half dozen of her burly, bad-girl bitches confronted me and laid into me like they were going to kill me (she *actually* said that). I saw male and female teachers on hall-duty turned their heads to the whole scene. Mother-fucking fuckers.
If you were a professional photographer/camera guy, what would you do with your outstanding talent?
Listening now to Obsessed With The End on AppleMusic. "Congratulations" is totally yummy with that heavy shuffle beat. "Icy Blonde": Harmony guitars get me every time. Ooo, I jumped to "Interstellar Grace," super-creative composition.
Tonedeff "Demon" pretty much nails the state of full-spectrum living men and women. The pain is excruciating; the drive to "finish the mission" is imperative.
Root language does make sense to me, given my perspectives and perceptions about 23.5 degrees etc.
"All sights affixed, ablaze."
Did you write that, or is it from a song/movie? How do I "know" that phrase?
"That's why I'm a coincidence theorist."
Does the meaning the number 213 mean anything to you?
I dreamed that I was given the key to a second-floor room #213 to deliver a packet of important, time-sensitive papers, which I did.
Those are two very good songs. It's amazing that these two guys who seem to "have it all" still battle with mental anguish and trauma.
""...winners are not people who fail, but people who never quit..."
That's why I'm still drinking."
How well I comprehend.
I did some research and none of the maths stuff (which was very interesting since I like numbers) or the two movies seemed to have any relevance. Maybe I received a stupid transmission from VOG operators, or I may see more information in the coming days.
*shrug*
Oh, and bon jour.
(I love Thor's Day and Frigg's Day, two back-to-back energy gathering days for me.)
Hey, my heart just did a weird couple of thunderous beats. Never felt that before.😳🤔
Such great talent and intricate compositions. I enjoyed watching listening (and of course I had to search for the lyrics as *at least* a foothold even if they aren't totally accurate).
I apologize for not replying to some of your other comments. Sometimes, I have to step away and take to heart what you write.
I keep forgetting about the manic depression and pain. I started noticing the cycles a few weeks ago, but I tend to look past that because it's painful for me to see/feel it, and then I lose compassion. It's not fair for me to ignore your very real issues. That's when I shield and lash out.
The trauma is deep.
"Yeah, and it's also your trauma."
I know. And I am really feeling emotionally raw today. I think it's partially because I'm experiencing period symptoms despite not having had one for nearly a decade. Or the emotions are triggering the physical memories. Either way, I'm looking at the programming and how to heal so I can help others who want to heal, too.
"Why would say, that nurse ask me if I'm a sangoma?"
Are you?
"As SuperSatan, I must ask why you would come to me in darkness, but also you seek for distance? I apologize for having to hide you."
I probably need to sit with that 'cause the message is not obvious to me.
That TI video was hard to watch, but the story is good.
Who is Katherine? (Kate Orson?)
"Why do people think I'm so evil?"
People think you're evil because you ask questions and reveal truths that open their Pandora's boxes full of *their own* evil. You expose their immaturity, magical belief systems, cowardice, denial, and investment. You know, they project their shit onto you. But you're not a screen, you're a man.
I know all about being called evil, weird, crazy, aloof, etc., it's the story of my life. Of course, there are a few people — those who have suffered the same/similar projection BS — who "get" me.
Ahh, that's fucking gorgeous. I just downloaded the album into my AppleMusic. And I'm going to dance wildly to that song.
"my mom mentioned a girl named Sharine or Shireen"
In what context?
And we will see about Kate. Sexological bodyworker and [false] Jesus worshiper, sounds like a deep investment in the intentional proliferation of trauma.
"The problem I have is, because instinctively I tend to love, there are things that think they can exploit me. And they "think" I don't notice that."
I get it. I mean, if they think they can exploit or manipulate you, *they* are the ones exploitable and manipulable. Right? I mean, that's part of the programming and now they project it; they're like little movie houses of shit films and they treat others like the screens. But you're a man, not a screen, so.
Well, drinking alcohol is great self-medication (there's my justification, haha). Of course, you wouldn't be able to maintain your WEW as pristinely as you do — thinking and writing clearly and all your other unique activities/qualities — if you were abusing alcohol to the point of near-annihilation every day. I have seen some very exceptional people who do, and they *no way* could accomplish a smidgen of what you do.
JFC. It was really difficult to read SH's lashing out. The denial is soooooo fucking deep. It is truly like fighting dragons who are insanely flailing in the throes of death. I mean, they're powerless, but still, what a rough, icky mess. Is there any hope for "people" like that?
That's very good.
"...I know there's no hope for me."
Honestly, that's the best space to be in.
I'm not saying this will happen to you, but I have two very close friends that did not know each other and both of them independently told me that they were "done with love relationships forever." A few months later, they met each other at one of my gigs and fell in love instantly; they have been happily married for nearly 20 years, no kids by choice.
It's interesting to me that some of the metal bands put out albums containing songs that all sound quite similar, while others release albums of music that is highly varied not only between but within the songs themselves. I much prefer the latter (variety is the spice of life), but can appreciate the former.
There are so many talented musicians! And yeah, I can comprehend that Decapitated were influencers. I read about Vitek. Apparently he was 12 when joined the band. My former guitar student Joseph was playing amazing shit at that age, too. I think I told you before that I helped him learn "Ghost of Perdition" by Opeth, he was maybe 13 at the time. He's more into composing and performing other genres now.
That's fucking brilliant. Also I LOL'd at this fabulous line:
"If you think Guttermouth knows shit (I mean Guttermouth knows shit and believes in shit, but it's shit), you have no fucking idea."
It's always, as you have said and now I say all the time, about denial and investment, which are really kinda the same shit excuse IMO.
Please let me know how things transpire with RP et al. (Is RP *really* a physicist, or does s/he just play one on Substack?)
I literally just sat down with a glass of wine. I mean, other than the time I took to read and reply to your comments today, I've been busting my ass around here.
I got all my pretty flowers potted plus three new herb plants, and all my new and previous little flora friends are watered before bedtime. Also, it was Whole Lotta Lasagna day, so that's like a 4-hour kitchen commitment — during which I listened and danced to "Flight of the Ancients" again. *And* I made a batch of chocolate zucchini black bean breakfast bars after dinner; they're baking now and the house smells delicious.
Ron and Jack made great progress on the stage today, too. There's a floor now, yay.
Some positive distractions from my deep desire to throttle "people."
I read through your discussion with" Amanda." (Actually, I poured a glass of bubbles and read the entire bunch of threads.) The back-and-forth with "Amanda" really looked familiar, in the beginning, to other repartee you've had that I was able to read and even participate in sometimes.
I hope for "Amanda's" sake that "she" was being honest in saying "she" believes you. For "her" — or anyone — to dismiss your personal truth and the truths of which you speak is *not* a wise choice.
That said, I doubt at this point that anything you say would "scare me for life," although it might scar me if I don't have my shield ready (but I pretty much always do).
Also, as I've said before, I began adopting "normie" ways as an infant in order to survive — which I almost didn't many times.
So I guess I hide my lunacy . . . until someone pisses me off. I have "killed" *a lot* of "people," especially the two guys who tried to physically rape me, one at age 15, the other at age 51. And how's *that* for inverted "FM" fuckery?
There was so much abuse by males in my life that, in retrospect, I am still kinda amazed that I am married to Ron. Although it's not like there was no relationship stuff to work through; the first ten years were incredibly difficult, with four major, ugly breakups and a shitload of psychological damage to heal on both our parts.
And there was an insane amount of Lilith programming in my mom. I "cut the apron strings" at 9 years old when I started getting my period and she told me that the *horrific* amount of blood and pain would go away when I have children. So, like, I'm supposed to bear children to stop my own pain? See what I mean, how crazy shit is.
That's a really good song by C.Ray.
I think about you *a lot* every day. Not just when I'm reading/typing/listening to what you share.
RE: "that other girl," not necessary but maybe you could give her a moniker so I know "which witch" or "other girl" you are referring to. And I am genuinely sorry that the emoticons I recently chose triggered you with all that previous trauma. But I get angry, too, and need to express it *somehow.*
I think that A-Man-Duh (likely?) is deeply programmed and that "she" said "I believe you" to pander *as if* disappearing afterwards wouldn't be obvious. The comment about "stop saying stuff or we'll both get sent to the bad kids' corner" or however "she" worded it gave me *distinct pause.*
"Instead of, as some of the british institutional shit would suggest "Carry on", I mention, 'Carrion'." Good one.
"I have been hurt too much and maybe you've noticed, I get angry. Beyond any of their attempted comprehension."
Of course they cannot comprehend such righteous anger: They are numb for dozens of reasons including pharma and mind-control/programming, or they are NPCs, or they are trolls, or they are cushy-job-keeping career clowns. Some are all of that.
"Certainly those girls pictured would be listening to this."
*Naturally.*
"I've mentioned it before, but I have power from even beyond the stars. I don't like having to use it to make a point though."
WEWs (and all Divine beings) must choose their battles wisely, as you tend to do.
Oh, yes. That discussion was quite lively, and you were in prime form, being *very nice,* too, for the most part. I rather enjoyed reading the repartee.
"Awomanye"
I must be goddamn loaded to the gills, because I still don't get that.
On another note altogether, Ron and our friend Jack started building the back yard stage yesterday. We're living in a construction zone, but happily so. It might even be ready for performing musicians next Saturday when we celebrate both of their belated birthdays.
"I'm sorry to hear what you put up with."
The feeling is mutual. And almost every time I read your online discussions with others that you share with me, I learn another detail about the damage and abuse you have endured. Like, I either forgot or did not know that your initial neurological damage was caused by herbicides/pesticides. That's just horrific and it makes me sooooooo angry. It is no wonder that you quickly became a rebel with a cause at two years old. "Dis-Go Inferno," indeed.
Also, and I've said this before, I am rather envious that you had the bravado to permanently ditch school at the age of 15. I really ought to have.
The morning after the rape, I mistakenly told a girl who I thought was a very close friend. Turned out she was a Lilith clone or at least MK-ULTRA'd with Lilith and Beta-kitten programming. And like wildfire, my entire high school — students *and* teachers — learned a *very twisted version* of the truth. On Monday morning in the hallway by my locker, after the weekend incident had been perpetrated *in my home,* I was branded a slut and whore. Which is exactly what the "friend" actually was. Hmmmm. Inversion and projection much?
And that was that: I was forever their target. I mean, the rapist went to school in a neighboring town, but his GF was in my school. She and a half dozen of her burly, bad-girl bitches confronted me and laid into me like they were going to kill me (she *actually* said that). I saw male and female teachers on hall-duty turned their heads to the whole scene. Mother-fucking fuckers.
If you were a professional photographer/camera guy, what would you do with your outstanding talent?
"My wife."
That's good.
Listening now to Obsessed With The End on AppleMusic. "Congratulations" is totally yummy with that heavy shuffle beat. "Icy Blonde": Harmony guitars get me every time. Ooo, I jumped to "Interstellar Grace," super-creative composition.
Tonedeff "Demon" pretty much nails the state of full-spectrum living men and women. The pain is excruciating; the drive to "finish the mission" is imperative.
Root language does make sense to me, given my perspectives and perceptions about 23.5 degrees etc.
"All sights affixed, ablaze."
Did you write that, or is it from a song/movie? How do I "know" that phrase?