Substitute Teaching

my story

My friend, writer, philosopher, and all-around great guy, William Hunter Duncan, wrote a piece for his Stack today about doing substitute teaching work in the state of Minnesota:

I Thought I Might Substitute Teach

His article inspired me to share my own experience with substitute teaching, as an interesting story and perhaps a cautionary tale.

I graduated from California State Polytechnic University, San Luis Obispo, in March 2016 with a B.A. in Communication Studies. I planned to go to graduate school, obtain my PhD, and teach at Cal Poly. In the meantime, I decided to substitute teach at our local school district, which is in a town of about 30,000. I felt that I would bring good vibes to the classrooms.

In California, subs are required to pass the C-BEST comprehension test to receive certification. My hard-earned, magna cum laude degree was not enough to prove my ability to be in the classroom with children. Oh, and there were background security checks, TB tests (WTF?), palm scans, et al. The entire process from studying for and taking the 4-hour-long C-BEST test to certification to application to interview to hire to my first sub job took six months.

Monday through Friday, I would wake up at 4:45AM to be ready for a call from the automated system with a job offer. Although I was "hired" on paper in mid-August, my first actual job did not occur until the first week in November.

I was not in the classroom to substitute for the teacher very often. I was more often hired as a SCIA, which stands for Special Classroom Instructional Aide. This is essentially a one-on-one child-sitting assignment with a student who has behavioral problems. There is no training for the SCIA position. It was harrowing at best being thrown into what amounts to playing proxy parent/teacher/baby-sitter/psychologist. These kids would be physically violent at times; otherwise, they were either verbally abusive or in some kind of catatonic state. There were children who bit me, pinched me, punched me, kicked me, scratched me, screamed at me, and called me “bitch” among other nasty words. Just based on the plethora of SCIA jobs in a small school district like the one here, I think that there are a lot of fucked up children in our country (and it’s not their fault, but dealing with them is very, very difficult).

I was new, and a lot of the teachers seemed resentful of me being in their classroom, especially when I was doing SCIA jobs. They didn't bother to explain my role in their particular setting (for example, sometimes it was a class of ALL behaviorally challenged and/or mentally/physically ill students, as young as only a few months). After a few of these SCIA jobs, one of the schools wanted to hire me full-time to do that work. They said I was really good at it; I hated it. I think they were desperate. You couldn’t pay me enough to do that job.

Out of the three months I worked as a sub, I probably only got 18-20 jobs. The SCIA jobs were always full days (brutal!) but most of the actual teacher-sub jobs were half-days. Not a very lucrative career at $18/hour.

Despite eating healthy, I was not getting enough sleep, and the school environment in general was very stressful. On my lunch break, I would have loved to chat with the other teachers, but I needed those precious few minutes to decompress. Although lunch was supposed to be half an hour, I was lucky to get 10 minutes. Often, I ate later while students while observing the students during recess because my lunch hour got taken up by classroom administrative duties or dealing with an unruly student.

Also, there was little time to care for my other needs, like going to the bathroom, so I typically got to use the bathroom during my waning lunch period. Emptying the bladder only once in 8 hours is not good hygiene, and it can be painful to hold all that wastewater. And what can we surmise about my [former] employer if they didn’t allow me to have bodily autonomy? I mean, it’s my body they were restricting, so isn’t that a definition of torture?

This is an image from my Gratitude 365 Photo-Journal.

Around the second week of January, I fell very ill with some flu-like thing that had me down for a few days. It was very bizarre since I hadn’t been sick for a few years prior to this. I wondered about 5G at the schools. I contacted the City about this and they tried to assure me that they hadn't approved 5G anywhere, as if corporations and the State ever ask permission.

I had a few more jobs that month. On the last Friday in January, I was in the graphic design classroom all day. Before lunch, a few of the students reminded me that it was an early release day, and they would be excused from school at 1:50.

During what was left of my lunch break, I went to the office to inquire whether I should stay until 3:30 or go home after the kids left and I tidied up the room. The secretary said, "Well, you could come to the office and file some paperwork until 3:30. Would you like to do that?" Without even thinking, I said, "No." It just came out. She faltered a bit, then said, "Well you are here for the students first, so stay in the room and write lengthy notes for the teacher then leave after you tidy up and shut down all the computers."

I walked outside and called the district office. The office manager confirmed that the school could indeed request me to do paperwork in the office because working for the State means you don’t control what job they tell you to do. I said, "Can I say ‘no’ to that?" and she just hemmed and hawed then ended the conversation with no definitive answer. Trying to be pleasant given my clearly obtuse (to her) questions, I thanked her.

After lunch, the principal came to the classroom. She said, "The district office called and said to send home all the subs after the students leave for the day." I asked what prompted them to make that decision. She said, "Well, the district supervisor wants to make sure you all get home safely due to the inclement weather." I struggled not to laugh out loud, wondering to myself, what the fuck are they going to say when it's a perfectly sunny day here in California? And what about the regular teachers? The district supervisor doesn’t care about their “safety”? Ugh.

Later, I went to the office to sign my time sheet. In front of me was a very tall man, another sub. I immediately thought, "I wonder if they ask HIM to file paperwork in the office? Or maybe change ceiling lightbulbs?" The obvious answer is NO.

On Sunday at 3:30AM, I woke up barely able to breathe, and then my entire body turned to ice and began uncontrollably shaking so violently that my husband Ron had to lay on me for the next half-hour so I didn't bounce out of bed. He had to hold my arms down, too, because they were flailing so much that I was hitting him, myself, the wall, and the nightstand. After that, I was almost completely bedridden for nearly a full week. The first four days, I could only drink water. When I was finally able to sit at the table and eat, Ron looked at me and said, "Honey, you're done there."

I never looked back. My music teaching roster filled up, I got some graphic design work, we got some paying gigs — and I haven't been sick at all since then!

Just as a reminder for context, that was nearly seven years ago. Yes, it’s true that after I left State servitude, stopped believing “The Cooties Are Real And Contagious” lie, and acknowledged the matrix slave system foisted upon mankind, I no longer get sick with the illnesses supposedly associated with The Cooties. Isn’t that interesting?

I feel that this is a testament to the horrible conditions of the public school system, which I have come to see is really a slave-training indoctrination camp. And if it was terrible in 2016, I can only imagine the abject horror after “The Cooties Panic & Oppression Operation” began in March 2020.

My intention to be of service with my “good vibes” not only DID NOT CHANGE THE SYSTEM, it almost killed me. Twice.

I don't want to tell anyone what to do or how to think. My experience is my own, and you will have yours if you choose to work for the State.

Either way, I wish you well!💖🤗