Complications and Fuckery

when dealing with the state

It is after midnight, early Monday morning. Earlier this evening, I spent over two hours navigating the California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) website, intending to do a standard vehicle title transfer.

Seriously, I have to give myself some credit here because navigating the DMV is a brain-fuddling experience on its own.

Here is my story (so far, because it ain’t over yet).

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I bought a used car yesterday. It was located about 200 miles from my home. Ron and I got up very early and drove our truck to the seller’s home with the sincere intention of me buying the car. The seller knew that.

I didn’t realize until purchasing the vehicle that the registration had lapsed and the owner had placed it in non-operational status.

I wanted the car. The price was right. I bought it and drove it home.

I must be retarded, right?

Moi next to the car I had just purchased.

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Earlier this evening, I took out the State of California Title Transfer Certificate paper, filled in the required information, took the required photos, and went to the DMV online.

I followed the fucking prompts. I uploaded the photos. I clicked all the correct check-boxes.

Then everything became complicated.

The system kept bringing me to a page about Planned Non-Operational (PNO) status with those red asterisks. I tried three times to bypass it but there was no way out of the grid.

I realized that maybe I needed to register the vehicle first, so I went to the home page, clicked “register your…,” and attempted to register the vehicle.

No go. They system (the SYSTEM) “noticed” that the vehicle was previously placed in PNO status: Did I want to change that? Yes. Yes! FUCKING YES!

I clicked all the “correct” boxes, but I could not move forward. The system kept forcing me to choose PNO.

I can’t transfer the vehicle into my name.

I can’t register the vehicle.

I can’t take it out of PNO status.

And the vehicle may even need a stupid fucking smog check.

Do a search for California’s current not-wild-and-definitely-planned-and-intentional fires for the most concentrated toxic airborne emissions that make auto exhaust a joke.

OH, and speaking of JOKES . . .

How can I get a smog check if I can’t “legally” drive the damn car to an “official state-sponsored” smog-check facility?

One word came immediately into my mind:

CONUNDRUM

Let’s see what Etymonline.com has found about this word:

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Ah yes! That’s it! I am being ABUSED AND MOCKED on this “punny” state website, because the SYSTEM BY DESIGN is abusive and mocking of our innate intelligence.

I can see now that

1) I’m not actually retarded and yet

2) I’ll end up spending several more hours of my precious time dealing with this intentional STATE debacle.

Meanwhile, I probably shouldn’t drive my “new” (used, old, not expensive) beautiful blue car. And that sucks, because I love my fabulous vehicle!

Do any of you have experiences like this to share?

I want to know!

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I now offer ZERO APOLOGIES for readers who feel saddened by the use of language that addresses the abject seriousness of our situation:

WE ARE ATTACKED CONSTANTLY IN EVERY FUCKED-UP WAY POSSIBLE, WHILE WE ARE TOLD THAT IT’S OUR FAULT. THAT’S FUCKING FUCKERY.

Demonically possessed psychopaths who may or may not be full-spectrum humans — and who may be your co-worker or friend or family member — work and make money and get other perks including power and prestige to concoct this kind of conundrum-y cul-de-sac fuckery. Think about it.