PREFACE: This article deals with sensitive information and opinions that are difficult for most people and thus may trigger extreme defensiveness and finger-pointing (in this case, at moi). I mean no harm or disrespect to anyone or to the decisions they make regarding their own health or lack thereof. These are my own perceptions and perspectives, which are not derived from lofty notions meant to bypass some harsh realities. I am prepared to pull back the veil and deal precisely with those harsh realities. And so, I offer here my own observations, experiences, and subsequent intuitive questions in a raw manner. I trust my intuition and my Creator-given senses above “The Science™©®℗” and any mainstream-approved “experts,” “officials,” and “authorities.” Take all that as you will.
This two-part article was further inspired by the writings of fellow Substack author Mark Bisone of The Cat Was Never Found — and in particular, his ongoing series on the devil and demons — as well as this video about clearing ancestral trauma by Laura Worley. For what it’s worth, I am not religious nor am I a Biblical literalist, although as a child I deeply feared becoming the next Virgin Mary. The programming goes deep.
My dear father-in-law, who I called Papa, died at the age of 89 on October 26, 2023 of esophageal cancer.
My husband and I had just celebrated Papa’s birthday while on our summer roadtrip. We knew about his terminal cancer diagnosis and that he had been organizing his estate/trust and making advance funeral, church service, cremation, and burial arrangements. At the time, I felt that it would be the last time I saw Papa alive; sadly, I was correct.
Since Papa’s most recent and final three-week-long hospital ordeal began, I have had some intense experiences and insights into the reality of living and dying in a mainstream, medicalized, mainly off-the-shelf religious manner. I’ll begin at the beginning of Papa’s end for this part. In the second part, I will go into more of his after-life and the surrounding events and experiences that I witnessed.
Papa survived the tragic passing of two wives: The mother of his children died in 1997, and his second wife of only two years died in 2008. Papa also lived through the horrific deaths of three of his five adult children and one of his three grandchildren, and through Type II diabetes, prostate cancer, colon cancer, esophageal cancer, and skin cancer . . . all within the past 8 years.
This was Papa’s second bout of esophageal cancer within a year, and no doctors would recommend chemo or radiation. By late spring 2023, the cancer had metastasized to his lymph nodes, so it’s likely that it sprouted up elsewhere in his body. But by this time, there were no more biopsies or other such procedures. It was time for critical care.
Papa had become unable to eat or drink. He admitted himself to the hospital on Friday, October 6th under the assumption that he had developed a respiratory illness, since he’d been coughing violently, having trouble breathing, and experiencing dizzy spells for a couple of weeks, and his condition was worsening.
After five days of medical testing for “viruses,” the doctors determined that *something else* was the cause of his severe condition.
Lo and behold, they concluded that the cancerous tumor in Papa’s esophagus had grown large enough to almost entirely close off his throat, so every bit of food and water he consumed was diverted down the windpipe into his lungs, causing violent expulsion of whatever made it down.
Question:
“When did LOGIC leave the medical field?”
(asking for a friend)
Meanwhile, Papa’s only living daughter — who is also the executor of his estate and trust — and her husband began to rally. They rotated shifts to stay with him around the clock, with their daughter taking occasional short shifts as well. Papa was on nasal oxygen; a saline drip; Ativan to reduce his anxiety; and a low dosage of morphine to mitigate pain. When awake, he was still lucid, and sometimes experiencing those awful coughing spells.
After several days in this state, Papa was offered the option of having a feeding tube inserted into his stomach; he agreed to it. He was anesthetized and underwent surgery on Friday, October 13th. He survived, and the feeding tube went into use on Saturday.
On the following Thursday morning, October 19th, Papa decided that the feeding tube had been a poor decision on his part, and he went off the main medical “life support systems”: Oxygen, feeding tube, and saline.
Many extended family members, friends, and fellow church-goers visited Papa. This made him feel psychologically uncomfortable. He did not want people to see him suffering, which to him registered as “undignified.” To remedy the feeling of embarrassment, he requested the maximum level of morphine for pain relief; a steroid to reduce the secretions in his lungs; and continuation of Ativan to reduce anxiety; and he agreed to have a catheter inserted to release urine.
(All of the previous information since Papa’s coughing spells and subsequent hospital admission came from my sister-in-law, who is a thoughtful, caring, devoted family member who I love dearly. The remainder comprises information from my husband and myself, unless otherwise noted.)
Given this new information, my husband made arrangements to fly on a one-way ticket to stay with Papa. He arrived on Friday, October 20th and went directly from the airport to the hospital. Even though Papa was in a hospital, he remained in the same room and his regular nursing/care staff had been changed over to a hospice care team.
By the time my husband arrived at the hospital on Friday afternoon, Papa was already under extremely heavy sedation: He did not speak or move, but still endured occasional traumatic coughing spells.
The very next night at precisely 10:31, as I sat at my desk reading email messages and articles on my computer, I suddenly and rather surprisingly felt Papa’s presence in my immediate proximity. And this is where it gets weird.
Because it was decidedly NOT a pleasant experience.
Papa’s presence was palpable.
I thought initially that his spirit had left his body. I began crying extremely hard, thinking that perhaps I was mourning his death.
Then I started to FEEL his overwhelming “presence” exuding great pressure into my torus field, my aura, my biometric field, or whatever you might call it, and I realized that something was wrong. I screamed out loud to Papa that he was not allowed to come into my body/mind/spirit/soul complex. I told him that he did not have permission to be with me, and that had to “go home” when his moment arrived.
None of my lamentations were contrived. Every word and cry spilled from me without provocation.
This experience was extremely difficult, not the least because I had always felt that Papa treated me as more than an in-law; he made me feel like his daughter. Obviously, the “attachment attempt” was horrific enough. (I will discuss all of this in detail in Part 2.)
My mixed feelings of grief, fear, and fight-for-my-life stress were incomparable.
After 15 minutes of me repelling Papa’s energetic presence, I felt him leave. I was still sobbing heavily when I called a friend who has decades of experience with such things. The following photo depicts how I felt.
Afterward, I lit candles and cleared the house. Eventually, I felt safe and calm, and I went to bed.
The next day, I talked to my husband. Papa was still alive and breathing on his own, so I knew that he hadn’t died. His spirit remained in his body.
But his wandering soul had tried to attach to me.
I contacted my sister to discuss the previous night’s experience, and over the course of our conversation, I came to the following comprehensions — or at least better questions — about these discernments. This will be very rudimentary, as I continue perceiving so many nuances that I just do not have time to go into greater detail in this brief piece.
Spirit is the Breath of God. And I mean the One True Creator of Life, not some Abrahamic or other fake “God.” Spirit is not attached to the body but gives Life to the body. When the Spirit/Breath of God leaves, the body dies.
Note: Spirit is obviously far more than just the breath of life. Spirit is the unexpurgated toroidal electrical energetic frequency fractal quantum Creation system that comprises Life itself, and in this specific instance, mankind.
The SOUL, however, IS attached to the body. The soul (psyche) carries ancestral trauma in the body through the blood and DNA. Therefore, it is imperative to do the necessary psycho-spiritual work here and now during our day-to-day experiences. Most people are too weak to delve into difficult issues; thus, their souls are laden with ancestral burdens that not only fill their own lives with tragedies that they refuse to or cannot handle on the psycho-spiritual level, their unhealed traumas poison future generations. Part of this weakness stems from traditions and beliefs. For example, it is frequently said, “Do not speak ill of the dead.” The problem with that pithy emotional plea is that if we do not call out the harms done, we cannot heal from them, nor can we stop the transfer of those harms down the family line.
If the soul is either “unwilling or unable to return to God,” it may 1) “choose to” or “be directed to” attach to another living man, woman, or child during the dying/trauma process, or 2) get derailed after death by The Karmic Recycling Team and be bullied into reincarnating. This group of vampiric entities will persuade the lost soul to come back to Earth under the guise of “amending their wrongs,” but the newly reincarnated soul will actually live out another life of additional trauma and trauma-infliction.
Here is my current shortlist of possible reasons why a soul becomes unwilling or unable to return to God/Source:
MK-ULTRA trauma-based mind-control, which occurs on severe levels in 1) bloodline ritual trauma, 2) other ritualized abuse such as Satanic ritual abuse (SRA), and 3) government/military/medical/technological experimentation. MK-ULTRA essentially shatters the victim’s mind and psyche, leaving intact the “core personality,” which I think of as the “pure unadulterated soul.” Programmers then install multiple alternate personalities (“alters”) through an elaborate, extensive, and extreme system using archetypes. Specific alters are triggered by the victim’s “handlers” via programmed signs, symbols, sigils, words, sounds, etc.
Milder and more “slow-walk” versions of MK-ULTRA programming are built into tv/film; internet; music videos; comic books, magazines, and other visual + narrative works; visual art and graphic design; writing; and all forms of pornography. All of this content is designed to split off our consciousness from our core spiritual being and to sully the process of building on our pure soul/body.
Family history of mental illness and/or substance abuse that leads to abuse of others, with the result of psychological dissociation and easily triggered responses, similar to those under MK-ULTRA and SRA programming;
Incest, rape, and all other forms of sexual abuse which, in addition to everything described in the above points, typically cause changes in personality due to repressed anger and feelings of powerlessness or Stockholm Syndrome-like attachment toward the perpetrators;
Accidental trauma (i.e., a severe car accident) that results in long-term hospitalization, medicalized coma, extended pharmaceutical intake, and lack of both true continuous care and a healing environment;
Experimental use of psychotropic and other mind-altering drugs — in any milieu. This could be drugs given during active military duty, or casually “getting high” with friends, and/or the currently popular “ascension-seeking” Ayahuasca ceremonies, all experiences which frequently lead to psychosis;
Environmental and industrial poisoning — including toxins in the luxury “foods” that so many people choose — which lead to severe mind/body/spirit/soul degradation; and
Involvement in other groups or activities that secretly manipulate human consciousness for nefarious purposes.
You probably noticed that I also had put the phrases “choose to” and “be directed to” in quotes above.
I did this because when a soul has been captured by mind-controllers or via any of the other bullet-pointed traumas that I listed, the mind aspect of the formerly whole and integral man or woman is often rendered incapable of making well-thought, logical, and heart-centered decisions because it lacks the wholeness, individuation, and maturity to do so. (Children are generally far more easily manipulated, which is why the psychopathic predators blatantly target them in churches, schools, and other realms where parents entrust their babies to “authorities,” “officials,” and “experts.”)
So, I’m flat-out saying that a large majority of people fall into the “choose to” or the “be directed by” category. They either “choose to” remain in fight, flight, or freeze mode to avoid calling attention to themselves and risking more trauma, or they completely capitulate and allow themselves to be controlled by others. This is because their capacity to discern when they are being lied to, gas-lighted, or even openly ridiculed was temporarily or permanently turned off. They are literally out of their minds, and thus unable to see the harms being done. This became quite evident during the CovAin’t: The sheer amount of incremental trauma inflicted on humanity, animals, and Earth herself over multiple generations has effected a greasy smear over the sensory lenses of so very many people, making them fall into line with their perceived saviors.
Still, regardless of how the fear is introduced and compounded over time and circumstances, the soul gets trapped in a covenant with the ancestral trauma cycle, continuing to reincarnate and suffer even more atrocities at the hands of the wayward wizards and their death-cult psychopaths who happen to be running the world of illusions machinated for this perfectly imperfect cycle.
Now, let’s go back to the situation with Papa in the hospital/hospice.
After the horrific “attachment attempt,” I went about my next day or so and it became clear to me that the morphine and pharmaceutical drugs used in hospitals and even in hospice — as a way to [purportedly] lessen the hardship for people dying painful deaths — is very likely part of the soul trap.
My initial thought is that those drugs stifle the “dark night of the soul” which is absolutely necessary in clearing both traumas endured and traumas inflicted. This is the spiritual/soul level of the importance of the lucid process of repentance. But then there’s the physiological aspect, since the soul is attached to the body through blood and DNA.
Morphine levels that immobilize the body obviously affect the neurological, mental, and spiritual aspects of our integral being. This would clearly affect the soul, too. My question is, How can we know whether a patient is “awake”/conscious, or in a deep sleep, or neither, if they are unable to respond physically with even the slightest movement to the stimuli in their vicinity? Papa’s doctors said that hearing is the last sense to leave before death, and this may be accurate, because we can’t “close our ears” as we can close our eyes, for example. We also cannot shut off our our sense of smell, and of course this acknowledgment opens up so many questions. Yet I digress.
Let us consider this:
Laboratory experiments might be able show that under extreme sedation the patient’s inner ear moves and responds to a stimulus, sending a chemical signal to the brain. But is the patient actually able to consciously process — that is, to comprehend — the sounds he or she is hearing when the rest of their body is fully anesthetized on opiates?
If the patient is unable to comprehend, how are the stimuli being registered?
If the patient does comprehend, what can they DO with that information?
Furthermore, what might THE SOUL be doing in either situation?
And what about Papa’s decision to forego all medical “life-support” systems? The following two sentences, found at the bottom of the linked article about pain and drugs, say this:
From the Merck Manual:
Even debilitated and cachectic patients may live for several weeks with no food and minimal hydration. Family members should understand that stopping medically supplied fluids does not result in the patient’s immediate death and ordinarily does not hasten death.
This is exactly what happened to Papa. He was unable to properly ingest water and food for several weeks before entering the hospital. Then, even with a saline drip for the first 14 days while in the hospital, he continued to aspirate bits of food and water that had previously entered his lungs. Thus he experienced the horrific coughing “spells” (and there’s THAT WORD again), which is why he decided to increase the doses of morphine and Ativan, which made him immobile and appear to be asleep all the time.
If stopping the medically supplied fluids does not ordinarily hasten death in such patients, what does finally bring on death?
Was Papa perhaps completely unconscious and being devoured by demons?
According to medically reviewed information,:
As the body gets fewer nutrients, it burns fat and muscle. Cancer cells use what limited nutrients are left to help them survive and multiply.
Is cancer actually a disembodied demonic entity that has found a suitable host upon which to feed?
And by “suitable,” I very clearly mean “unhealthy.” (I mean no disrespect to Papa or to anyone who suffers or has suffered with this dis-ease.)
At the very least, these questions lead me to think that what we might be looking at is a medically induced super-slow death that enriches the med-tech-kill-cartel, while increasing the calculated, drugged-induced, unconscious suffering of patients and the concomitant conscious suffering of loved ones.
It has been said by greater philosophers than myself that suffering is the food of demons.
My latest comprehension is that opiates and pharmaceutical drugs act as gateways or portals for demons and other disembodied death-cult entities to find traumatized souls, attach to the body, and feed off the spiritual life-force.
Further, I posit that the medical industry not only knows about these drugs, demons, and portals, but that the industry is built upon this knowledge.
So, was it really Papa’s unhealed soul trying to attach to me, or was it a disembodied other soul that was using him to get to me?
Either way, I did not want that energetic presence near me, as it seemed aggressive and desperate to cleave to me.
What’s more, while under the influence of high levels of bio-accumulative opiates and other pharmaceutical drugs, is the patient still truly “captaining his or her own mind/body/spirit/soul ship?”
In that condition, are they able to make fully conscious decisions regarding the leaving of their own spirit or the meanderings of their soul? Have they signed on to a “Savior Program” through a church or New Age guru, or some other soul-saving scheme that hundreds of millions of people worship, praise, and proselytize every day?
I ask these questions because I think most people — at least here in the US — seem to unquestioningly trust medical professionals, to the point that they disregard their own Creator-given senses. For example, when people get diagnosed with a terrible physical disease like cancer, why do they refuse to look to their diet as even one potential factor? I mean, what we put into our bodies (and minds) quite obviously has direct effects. So what really is such a refusal all about?
As I have posited in many of my other articles, I think that we have been incrementally dumbed down and led astray from our true spiritual nature into the false comfort/convenience/security of scientific materialism, and that this re-focusing of our attention was intentional by the wayward wizards and their cushy-job-keeping career clowns. Most people choose that pre-programmed, fraudulent, and well-traveled road so they can live in luxury — like royals — even if that road leads to great suffering and early decrepitude and death.
I have a different idea of living a luxurious life.
It’s about living here and now — a free, spiritual, creative woman — as the Great Creator intended for me. It involves righting my wrongs, stopping my ancestral trauma, and sharing my perspectives on Truth, Freedom, Justice, and Love, all before I reach the end of my time on Earth.
Meanwhile, I’m still here! Thank you for reading. I appreciate your well-thought comments.
As always, I wish you excellent health, well-being, and Life-affirming creativity!
Sharine.💖
There is also the concept of the bodhisattva, who is devoted to be reincarnated on earth until all living beings are inlighted.
Well, I thank you for your insights! You have shared afew perspectives I hadn't developed (yet😘)... being totally against pharmaceuticals and pretty much okay regarding eol (remains to be proven, lol), I still had my qualms regarding eol pain. The concept of this possible pain being for soul purification, now that you mention it, has me wondering how it hadn't occurred to me and leaves me happy and content to face that future event.
Thank you Sharine.💚