DMV Hellscape

and the good news

After my hellish experience with the DMV website, I woke up the next morning with the realization that it actually was my mistake that sent me into the Intel-net abyss. I went back to the website and reinitiated the vehicle title transfer. See, early on in the application process, there’s a two-option answer, one of which must be checked in order to get to the title transfer application. Basically, the options pertain to the vehicle’s current registration status:

1. After title transfer, I will not be operating my vehicle on the roads, OR

2. After title transfer, I will be driving my car on the roads.

I had tried three times by checking #2 because I didn’t want to keep the registration in Planned Non-Operational (PNO), I wanted to drive it. I tried checking #1 and immediately got moved forward in the process. I completed the title transfer application and got a confirmation sent to my email address, along with a copy of the receipt for $478. You read that right: It cost almost $500 to simply “apply” for title transfer, after which, if approved, I would still not be able to legally drive my car.

Later that morning, I called the DMV to inquire about next steps. The “team member” was very kind and she explained that, if my application was approved, I would need to re-register the vehicle into operable status. However, that [typically] cannot be done without a “passing” smog certification. I was about to blow my nut on yet another impossible situation — that is, I was unable to legally drive to a smog certification station to get that done — but she said that everything would be worked out at the DMV. She explained that I would receive a one-day moving pass in order to drive my car to have the smog check done.

So she scheduled an appointment for me at the local DMV office for the following Friday, which was only three days away. When our conversation was over, I felt a huge burden lifted off me. I then called my preferred auto repair business and scheduled the smog check. Done!

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On Friday morning prior to my afternoon DMV appointment, I received confirmation that my title transfer application had been approved. Yay! I gathered all my relevant documentation in a file folder, ate lunch, and made my way to the office.

Since I had an appointment, I was directed to stand in a particular area precisely at my appointment time. I kid you not when I say that the area is called

“THE RED CARPET”

Ugh. Things were about to get satanic red.

I was summoned with a “come hither” hand gesture to Window 1. The attendant, a middle-aged woman with a surly look about her, said “What do you need?” I could tell immediately that she hated me.

I explained my situation. She immediately gaslighted me, telling me that I would not have been able to initiate the title transfer online without a smog certification. I explained about the check box for keeping it in PNO; she shook her head no, saying, “That could not have happened.” I showed her the confirmation and the receipt.

She kept shaking her head. Then she asked to see the car’s title. She grabbed it and turned away from me toward her computer and began typing. She yelled out, “How much did you pay for the car?” I said, (not wanting to broadcast any more of my personal information into the DMV hellscape) “The amount is on the back.” In a few moments, she turned back to me at the window and thrust a printed-out document at me.

“There. You’re done.” I was incredulous, and said, “I was told that I would receive a day pass to legally drive to and from my smog check appointment.” Again, she violently shook her head. “No, you will get everything in the mail.” I stared at her. “When?” “As soon as it arrives.” I gathered my documents and my purse and slowly made my way to the other car I had to drive to the appointment (my husband’s car).

Near tears and feeling completely lost, I called my husband. He answered and I explained what happened. He helped me to calm down and said to go back in and get my questions answered.

So I did. The woman saw me walk in and said brusquely, “What? Do you have questions?” She waved me to her window.

I calmly apologized for not knowing what to do since I have never done this particular process before. I asked her what my next steps are, and she repeated, “Everything will come to you in the mail.” I had looked at the printed out registration and asked her, “Why does it show that the registration expires last July, and another area shows that it expires in the coming July?” She looked at me like I asked her how to build a super-computer and said, “I don’t know.” Somehow, I still had the composure to thank her and tell her to have a nice day.

I left no more informed than when I walked in, and my (new used) car was still legally not drivable.

When I got home and settled down, I checked my email and saw a survey about my DMV experience. After dinner with my husband, I poured a big glass of red wine and commenced to completing the survey.

I spared no details.

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On Monday morning, I read an email message from an office manager named Yvette at the same DMV office. She was offering to call me to try rectifying the situation. I sent her my phone number. On Tuesday, we talked on the phone, going over the circumstance regarding the title transfer, the registration, and all the details from the previous office appointment. Once she felt that she had all the information she needed, she said, “I’m going to fix this for you. I will be in touch soon.”

I had no idea what to expect.

On Thursday afternoon, she texted me and said, “I have everything in order. Come to the office today. We have sketchy internet this week and I don’t want to close the website page with your case information.”

I told her I would be there in 20-25 minutes. Then I realized that I had stayed at home to wait for some important signature-required FedEx packages to be delivered and also to do a flute lesson for a student. I called my husband and had to leave a voice message. I texted him. No word back. Finally, I went ahead and rescheduled my student’s lesson for Saturday morning. I felt frantic: Where is my husband and why is he not getting back to me?

He finally called and I told him the situation. He said he would be right there to pick me up and take me to the DMV office. When he arrived moments later, I told him that I needed to drive myself because of the packages! So off I drove to see what fate awaited me with Yvette.

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I walked in and she immediately recognized me standing on THE RED CARPET. She called me over to her window, with a big smile on her face. She held out her hand and I took it; she said, “I have it all for you.”

Not only did Yvette push through my operational status registration, she recognized that I had been grossly overcharged on the website for the title transfer. She said, “I’m requesting a refund for you to be expedited at the first opportunity. You’re going to get over $400 dollars back!” Granted, I did have to pay another $215 for the actual registration in that moment, but I knew I was finally in good hands.

As Yvette handed me my registration and the license plate tags, she said, “Also I have no idea how this happened, but there was no request for smog certification.” I was incredulous once again, but this time, in a positive way: I felt elated. She leaned over the cubicle divide to her co-worker Edith (who she described as her angel) and asked her to double-check the smog status. Edith confirmed, there was no requirement for certification. Obviously, I wouldn’t have been allowed to move the registration out of PNO without one, so there was some glitch in the DMV matrix . . . or someone (Yvette) wanted to be my angel.

I drove home with good news and a massive sigh of relief.

There are good people in this crazy world. I just wish I didn’t have to go into the abyssal hellscape and be harassed first before getting to meet one more truly helpful person.

So there’s my story. I hope you enjoyed reading both parts, and especially the happy ending.

As always, I wish you excellent health and well-being, and bountiful love, joy, and fabulous experiences with folks like Yvette.